Crying Without Tears

Having recently given birth to my newborn son and my older one being 7 years old, I have been experiencing many things that I had long forgotten. One of these things is the fact that newborns make a lot of noise when they cry but they don’t shed any tears. One day as I was feeding my baby, I noticed that his face was completely dry and free of the proof of sorrow after and even amidst the action of crying. He is a little greedy one, so every time I remove the bottle to burp him – otherwise he’ll throw up and make a big mess of himself – he throws a tantrum and cries so loud my neighbors must think I’m beating my child and probably calling child services; yet there are no tears and I couldn’t help but think how absolutely wonderful that is. I imagined if adults could cry with no tears, how much embarrassment, shame, and humiliation we could save ourselves from. Some say we should wear our tears with pride, for they are reminders of our humility, and the proof of our humanity, but I don’t like to wear my heart on my sleeve. I wouldn’t mind feeling the hurt, pain, fear, and happiness that causes us to cry as long as the salty water doesn’t drip from my eyes. See, I could make the loud noise without any problem. Oh yes! I could scream if I’m mad, sing if I’m happy, scream louder if I’m sad; Anything to keep you from knowing just how much you have really affected me. Yup, I have no problem making loud noise and shedding no tears. As I sit here and think of the possibilities I want to say that I wish I could’ve cried with no tears the day he played me for the third time and I had to convince my friends that I wasn’t hurting. I wish I could’ve cried with no tears the day I got a phone call from my mom while I hung out with some friends in which she informed me my aunt was very sick, “but don’t tell no one”, she said, yet I’m crying my heart out, forcing my friends to ask me what’s afflicting me. I wish I could cry with no tears when the love of my life stood in front of me and told me he wasn’t happy and that he was moving on. I wish I could cry with no tears the day I was arguing with my cousin and she called me a bitch in front of everyone and lastly, I wish I could cry with no tears every midnight on New Years eve, that one simply because I don’t want to mess up my makeup.